A Persistent Hope
by Mana Mihara
Summary: A companion piece to ‘A Soft Hope’. England. 1822. During the Christmas season, Misao turns all her attention to Aoshi, hoping that once and for all he will come to love her.
1. Chapter 1

**Synopsis**: A companion piece to 'A Soft Hope'. During the Christmas season, Misao turns all her attention to Aoshi, hoping that once and for all he will come to love her.

**Author's Note**: This story takes place between chapters 7 and 8 in 'A Soft Hope'. While it would make more sense to have read 'A Soft Hope' before reading this story, it's not totally necessary – I believe you can enjoy it either way.

I am a horrid procrastinator. I started this story back before I had even finished the epilogue for 'A Soft Hope' and then hit a wall that took me forever to get past. I have just finished this story, though, which is why I'm posting it finally. There will be three chapters, and I should have the next two up fairly soon as they only need some editing.

Please read and review. Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

* * *

**A Persistent Hope**

Chapter 1 – _To Meet Again_

* * *

She saw him for the first time when she was twelve. It had been at a bright afternoon at a garden party at her family's country estate in Kent, where she had been surrounded by the twittering of adults as they converged to eat and gossip. It had been a rather boring affair until she had looked up from her empty plate to see him sitting not far away on a stone bench. Something about him had held her gaze and made her young heart skip a beat. His dark hair, his stoic features, his cool, icy gaze – she found herself ensnared, and it was with a curious smile on her lips that she had walked over to him, sat down beside him, and introduced herself.

In the way of words, they didn't get very far. She learned his name, but after their terse introduction, he remained curiously silent. So she spoke enough for two of them that afternoon. When he left later with his family, she had been consumed with a need to see him again. And so she had.

There had not been many social gatherings that spring, but she was lucky in that the few she did attend, he was also present. She had latched onto him like a gnat, ever-present and unshakable. Since it was unlikely that he hadn't noticed her constant presence, she came to the conclusion that while he didn't exactly revel in her shadowlike tendencies, he was able to tolerate them. If they had been in London instead of the countryside of Kent, she wasn't sure if he would have been as lenient with her. But, the countryside allowed a freedom that the great city did not.

That memorable spring had served as a revelation to her in many ways. She began to act like a girl. She started to care about her appearance, because it surely wasn't the fashion to run about in muddy trousers with her hair snarled in tangles. She became accustomed to and even welcomed the formal dress that young women were expected to wear.

By the time she returned to the countryside the following spring, she had undergone a transformation that made her mother giddy with pleasure and her father proud, but had left her terribly uncomfortable. Still, the tightness of the corset, the restraining layers of her petticoats, and the elegant sweep of her various gowns gave her an edge that she hadn't had the previous year. She was ready for him.

If only he had come. The spring of her thirteenth year had been dreary indeed. As had her fourteenth.

On the fifteenth, her father invited a group of acquaintances to their country home for an amiable gathering. The young man of her affections arrived with his father. She had searched for some flicker of recognition in the icy glint of his blue gaze, but his expression had remained expertly schooled. Unfortunately, she hadn't had the time to search him out after that dinner party, because he left with his father for London two days later. It had been an incredibly frustrating time to say the least.

The next time she saw him, she was seventeen. Determination had filled her, and instead of standing back on the sidelines to watch, she stepped back into his life again as much as possible. He hadn't spoken much to her except for the customary greeting that polite society dictated. Now that she was older, she was unable to get away with the many things that she had been able to when she had been twelve. Being alone with him was strictly prohibited, and she was forced to adapt to the stringent rules of society.

She became quite proficient at shadowing him at certain functions. Her mother had scolded her, her father had turned a blind eye, and she had been content for the first time in a long while. Well…at least, she had been until she had had to leave Kent and return to London, where in the following season, she underwent her public debut for the ton, and her parents announced her eligibility for marriage.

She did not see him for another two years - until her 19th year - and unfortunately, the circumstances of her visit to Kent that year had not allowed her the freedom she would have wished. She had remained with her best friend, Kaoru, who had still been recovering from the terrible loss of her parents. Nothing had happened during that dreadful time. In fact, the spare moments that she had spent in his presence had been rather disastrous.

And at present, a little over a year later, she unfortunately still remained in that rut of inactivity.

* * *

**December, 1822. London, England.**

She was so _bored_.

How anyone could find the opera interesting was baffling. Sitting on a balcony for hours on end and watching a parade of performers belt out songs and musical notes that were too obscure to even exist, in her opinion, was a ridiculous waste of time. She'd rather be at home watching the paint dry on Kaoru's newest painting. That was twice as exciting as this. Even the balcony's chairs were dismal. In fact, her posterior had gone numb not even ten minutes into the production. It'd be a miracle if she would be able to walk when it was time for intermission.

Misao fidgeted, trying to spread some tingle of awareness through her muscles. Scrunching her nose, she gripped the program in her hand and frowned. Patience had never been one her strong points. She would have liked nothing better than to bolt from her seat and run away from this nightmare, but she would feel horrible about abandoning her friend to brave the rest of the musical production alone.

Misao slid her gaze over to Kaoru and frowned. Kaoru had apparently managed to sneak a pencil into her silk reticule and was now sketching a very nice likeness of the interior of the opera house on her program. It was at a time like this that Misao wished she had some fabulous talent to help distract her when life became tedious. She sighed heavily and turned a back to the stage to stare at it blankly as a woman clad in a sparkling blue gown took center stage and began to sing.

Usually, Misao was very adept at weaseling out of having to attend such functions, but there were only so many times her mother would believe her feigned illnesses. Public appearances, according to her mother, were extremely important to one's reputation and assertion into society. Without them, you were 'a nobody', and apparently that was a horrifying thought…to her mother. For Misao, she didn't give a fig if anyone noticed her at all.

Well, that wasn't true. Only one person had ever really mattered to her, and he wasn't even in the city, so this was all pretty pointless in her opinion.

A thunderous applause abruptly drew Misao from her impatient thoughts. Beside her, Kaoru lifted her head and blinked with slight confusion. Misao watched as the stage's curtain closed, signaling intermission had begun.

Intermission. What a beautiful word.

Slumping with unladylike relief, Misao closed her eyes and sighed. There was a steady roar of conversation that filled the air, but the discordant, overloud melodies that had reigned minutes ago were blissfully absent. The silence was sublime.

Kaoru stuffed her pencil and the now ruined program into her reticule and then placed a hand on Misao's arm. "Why don't we stretch our legs? We're only halfway through, and knowing that the torture shall continue, I'm anxious to move around a bit before we're trapped again."

"Excellent idea. Give me a second to get steady on my feet," Misao replied as she stood slowly, wincing at the stiffness of her legs. A few moments later, she was able to follow her friend out of the box and into the hallway crowded with nobility.

Kaoru seemed to know where she was going, so Misao stayed close behind her. The last thing she wanted was to become entangled in an unwanted conversation.

When they came to a stop in front of a table serving lemonade, Misao let out a slight sigh. She should have known. Kaoru loved the sour drink. Misao took a small glass and sipped the liquid tentatively. Lemonade had always made her thirstier than she had been before she drank it, so moderation was the key. As a rule, she generally avoided it, but this situation didn't allow her that possibility.

"I wish there was some way we could leave without ruffling my mother's feathers," Misao murmured quietly to her friend.

Kaoru smiled, slipping an amused gaze to Misao. "Feign an illness?"

Misao resisted the urge to snort. "She would see through such an obvious ruse."

"Then I guess succumbing to a bout of feminine vapors is out of the question as well?" she teased.

"I have never fainted before in my life," Misao responded emphatically, offended by the possibility.

"True."

Misao grimaced, and sighed deeply. "But this awful music may be the death of me, never mind the vapors."

Kaoru watched as Misao placed her half-full lemonade glass back on the table. The two women shared a look of common reluctance that even a passerby would have recognized as malcontent.

"We should head back," Kaoru intoned solemnly. "Intermission will be over shortly."

"I don't suppose you have an additional pencil stuck in that reticule of yours, eh?"

Kaoru bit back a smile. "No. However, I'm not sure I would have given it to you even if I did. I know you wouldn't use it to draw with."

Misao sighed. "Too true. I'd probably end up hurling it at the stage, and then where would I be?"

Kaoru laughed. "Imprisoned for the rest of your life."

"Yes, I do believe my mother would have an apoplexy." She sighed and backed away from the table to let Kaoru pass. "I guess there's no point in dallying."

Before moving, she glanced at Kaoru's face absently and was surprised to notice a change of expression; Kaoru's eyes widened, her lips parted, and flicker of secret amusement lightened her countenance.

Before Misao could question her friend, she took a step back and bumped rather forcefully into something solid and warm. A pair of hands came up to grip the sides of her arms and steadied her, but fell quickly away as she whipped around, an apology on her lips.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she began, raising her wide eyes to her victim's. And she froze.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she blinked owlishly for a few stunned seconds before her senses came rushing back to her.

"Aoshi! What a surprise," Misao burst out. To hell with titles and formalities. It had been too long since the last time she had seen him.

He inclined his head in greeting, yet remained silent.

"I wasn't aware that you were in London," she continued.

"No one was."

"Oh? Well, it's wonderful to see you again. You remember Miss Kaoru Kamiya?"

He nodded. "Miss Kamiya," he replied in greeting.

"Viscount," Kaoru responded. "I hope you and your shipping company both are flourishing."

"As well as could be expected. All captains and crews are working diligently."

A sad sort of smile covered Kaoru's lips and she bowed her head slightly. "I'm glad."

Misao watched the exchange, cocking her head to the side. She was quite aware that Kaoru had just inquired, through veiled words, about Kenshin's wellbeing as the captain of one of Aoshi's merchant ships. At the curt, positive reference to Kenshin's welfare, Misao had the sudden urge to fling herself in Aoshi's arms – his small reassurance would help to maintain Kaoru's good spirits for a time.

An usher announced the end of intermission and urged all to return to their seats. Aoshi bid a polite farewell and walked away. Misao watched him depart, and then followed her friend.

Once back in the box, Misao ignored the fluttering chords of the music and the loud voices of the singers, keeping her gaze fixed on the man in a seat across the theater and three boxes to the left of hers.

Lifting the small gold binoculars to her eyes, she smiled.

Maybe tonight wasn't so awful after all. Things were beginning to look interesting.

* * *

There was nothing more uncomfortable than riding sidesaddle. The saddle tended to dig into one's hip, and the precariousness of one's balance made the ride less than thrilling. Unfortunately, it was the only dignified and accepted way in which a woman was allowed to ride a horse, and it was something that was not up to debate. But that didn't mean that Misao couldn't grumble about it. Men and their stupid ideas of decorum…

Despite her obvious aversion, Misao still managed a morning ride each day with her maid following close behind acting as a discrete chaperone. This particular December morning, frigid as it was, Misao had decided that Hyde Park would be her destination. Usually, she avoided it because of the constant congestion, but the cold weather deterred many people from journeying out. Even with the chilly air, however, a respectable crowd milled about on horseback and in closed and open carriages.

Since Aoshi had attended the opera the night before, there was a slight chance that he might be at the park today, so she had come. There was nothing really for her to lose, and it seemed like a good idea at the time that she had set off.

She had been riding around the park for the better part of an hour, making polite, but brisk conversation with those she was acquainted with. There had been no sign of him, unfortunately, and even if she wished to spend the entire day milling about in the cold weather searching for him, she didn't have such freedom, and she was likely to catch a chill if she dallied much longer.

Ready to head back home, Misao steered her mount down a somewhat less populated path that led back to her house. She was a little ways down the path when she brought her horse to a slow halt, and stared with growing anticipation at a carriage that was pulled off to the side. One of the large spoked wheels sat against it, broken and beyond repair. The carriage sat lopsided because of the missing wheel, and as she stared at the glossy seal on the door, Misao felt her lips part with recognition.

She heard voices coming from behind the carriage, and with a delighted smile, she dismounted and led her horse over. From the corner of her eye, she saw her maid dismount a small distance away. When she rounded the corner and saw what she had hoped to see, the smile on her lips grew.

Aoshi stood next to the carriage, his back to her as he spoke to his driver. There was something thrilling about seeing him in the daylight versus the dimed interior of an opera house. He wore a thick maroon coat, black boots, and dark trousers, though had no hat atop his head, which was unusual in such weather. Misao could only guess he had left it in the carriage when the wheel had broken.

"I'll ride the horse back, my lord, and bring a replacement carriage if you would prefer. I'm unable to correct the damaged wheel by myself."

Aoshi frowned, but nodded as he stood and slipped his hands into the pockets of his coat. "Go on ahead. I'll remain here, then."

They had yet to see her, and she couldn't help herself by interrupting and saying, "I'll keep you company!"

The driver became immediately flustered, and stuttered nervously as Aoshi slowly turned toward her. She swore she saw a wry expression touch his lips before his features took on their typical aloofness. He met her open stare with coolness.

"Lady Misao. What a…surprise."

Misao beamed and stepped forward. "Such a coincidence, I know."

The driver finally managed to speak, his voice timorous, "But, my lady, you cannot possibly stay alone with him."

"Oh, posh," she replied with a friendly smile. "His lordship and I go back ages. We're like family."

Aoshi raised an eyebrow, fixing her with a hard stare.

"My lord, I –"

"It's alright, Danvers," Aoshi interrupted. "Lady Misao will be fine. I see her maid right over there next to the oak, and we're still insight of others," he said, motioning back down the path. People were still visible as they traveled about the park, just beyond the beginning of the path. "Her reputation will remain pristine."

Danvers nodded, albeit slowly. He moved reluctantly to the horse, mounted, and rode away.

Misao stood staring at Aoshi after Danvers left, though she knew it wasn't the most polite thing to do. Aoshi avoided her stare and gazed beyond her at the people behind them. When he spoke, he caught her off guard, for his focus was still on a passersby just over her shoulder.

"I trust you are in good health?" he asked.

Misao blinked. "Yes, I am. I hope you are fine, as well."

He hummed lowly in accord and then finally moved his gaze to hers.

His eyes were as blue as they had always been and held a cool glint of ice-like seriousness. His lips were pressed in a tense line, and his eyebrows were held in a way that dictated severity.

At first glance, not much about him had changed over the years. However, as she studied him, she noticed additional layers to him that had not been there previously. She hadn't had enough time to analyze him a year ago while she had been in Kent with Kaoru, but this change in him had obviously not occurred overnight. While she couldn't be certain of the cause that brought about the changes that now marked his features, she suspected it had something to do with the death of his father and running his father's formerly debt-ridden shipping company.

Aoshi had always been serious, stern, and quiet. Yet this behavior of his had almost been taken to an extreme these past years. Despite his title and lofty position in society, his life had not been easy. The slight boyishness of his features had faded, and only a domineering man remained. He was a hard man to read; it was even harder still to get him to react. Misao hoped that with time and her help, the cloud of indifference that cloaked him could be parted. If this was an impossible task, she'd find out sooner or later, but for now, all she could do was try.

She clasped her hands in front of her. "I found a kitten wandering the streets yesterday and took her home. I think I'll keep her," she stated, her eyes twinkling.

Aoshi was slightly taken aback, though she could tell he wasn't too surprised by the subject. Misao tended to bring up the most unexpected topics. "Oh?"

"She's a little orange thing. Adorable. And a troublemaker." She smiled. "You should meet her."

"She sounds…interesting."

"You have no idea." Misao cocked her head to side and sighed. She studied Aoshi keenly before saying, "I've been trying to come up with a name for her, but I haven't able to find an appropriate one. Do you have any suggestions, my lord?"

His stare was intent as he stood before her, eyebrows in a line of nonchalance. Holding her gaze, he said quite clearly, "Minx."

For the first time in a long time, Misao felt her cheeks flush. Was there double meaning to that statement?

"The cat?" Misao asked.

He looked away, but not before she saw the smallest corner of his mouth lift. "Yes."

"Well, I…I think I like it. The kitten is quite a troublemaker."

"Indeed," she thought she heard him murmur.

"Thank you for the suggestion, Aoshi."

Aoshi made noncommittal sound in the back of his throat as he reached within the open doorway of the carriage and pulled out a small pamphlet. Clutching it in his hand, he moved over to the tree behind Misao. A large, wooden bench sat underneath the tree's branches. She watched as he settled down quietly.

"If you'll pardon me, Lady Misao, I have some reading I must finish."

Misao sighed. Typical of him to say something surprising, and then turn around and ignore her. She bit her lip and glanced at her horse. Pulling her mare towards the carriage, she tethered the reins to part of the railing, confident that the anchor would remain, and then turned to the silent viscount.

The pamphlet was laid out on his lap, and he did appear to be actually reading it. Pursing her lips, she reached into the side pocket of her riding habit and pulled out the Society Papers that she had stuffed there absentmindedly earlier that morning. 'What an odd situation for them to be useful,' Misao pondered with a secret smile.

She lowered herself as gracefully as possible on the opposite side of the bench, careful to give him plenty of room. Aoshi didn't take notice of her change in position, and remained fully involved with whatever subject his pamphlet was about. She pulled the heavy folds of her velvet cloak tighter around her body for added warmth, and then began to thumb through her Society Papers until she found a particular piece that seemed mildly interesting.

As time passed though, her eyes remained on the same exact place on the page. Her attention was focused instead on the man beside her, and she found herself watching him out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't help but admire how the wind tousled his short black hair, and how the expression on his face was slightly softened as he concentrated on the paper. She couldn't help the small smile that slowly spread over lips.

To be able to enjoy the cool weather beneath a sky filled modestly with clouds was refreshing…more so than she would have thought. Maybe it was because she was next to him.

She had often wondered these past few months if there was actual depth to her feelings for Aoshi - if it was, in fact, still merely an infatuation that had stayed with her all these years, or if it really was love. Misao shivered. Love was such a strong word. It was frightening and exciting, painful and joyful, comforting and foreign all wrapped into one. It was hard to say you loved someone who so very apparently did _not_ return the sentiment. It made one think twice about it. Recently, she had spent many an afternoon daydreaming about the possibility that maybe she was wrong. After much deliberation, she had come to the conclusion that she might need to look at her feelings for Aoshi in a more pragmatic manner. She told herself to be more serious about it all. Think less with her heart and more with her head.

And then yesterday, the second she had laid eyes on him, on his straight, serious, familiar form, all those doubts and misgivings flew right out the window. She knew him. She knew herself. And she knew it was stupid to doubt an emotion that had continued to grow and grow over the years to a point of bursting. How stupid of her to think he didn't hold her heart in the palm of his hand, even though he was unaware of it. There had never been anyone else who made her heart catch, her mind go fuzzy, and her cheeks flush. She supposed that she had known all along that he was the only one for her. Silly of her to try to delude herself. There would never be anyone else.

Now, if only she could get him to realize the same thing. He was just so damn stubborn.

Holding back a sigh, Misao folded her papers as she heard a new carriage roll to a stop next to the broken one. Danvers quickly jumped down from his lofty position and hurried over to Aoshi.

"A team will be by to retrieve this carriage. I'll take you home, now, my lord."

Aoshi nodded and slowly stood as he brushed the clinging snow from his trousers. Turning to Misao, he politely held out his hand to assist her. His skin was cool to the touch as she placed her palm within his, and when his fingers wrapped around her own, she felt an involuntary shiver travel up her spine. He had never directly touched her like this before…even if it was only to assist her to stand. Gloves, which she had not worn today (a stupid oversight on her part considering the weather), had always been an unlucky barrier.

As his fingers slipped from hers, she sighed slightly and looked up to thank him with a courteous smile. There was something in his eyes that stopped her lips from sliding upwards – an expression she had never glimpsed before. And before she had real time to analyze it, he shuttered his eyes with deliberate calculation.

The smile she offered instead was rather weak and as she watched his carriage roll away moments later, she cocked her head to the side quizzically. What had that been?

* * *

Her behavior was scandalous. She knew that. Women simply did not make social calls on men. Men were the ones who did the visiting. This was not done. It was taboo. It was the road you took if you wanted to set your reputation aflame. But, Misao was doing it anyways.

She had been persistent and obvious with her attentions when she was younger, and she didn't see the why she needed to change her strategy. Besides, time was an obstacle that she couldn't avoid. His time in London was limited, and she had to make do with what was available – and that did not mean tiptoeing around on eggshells, fearful she would ruffle some feathers.

Even if her advances backfired, at least she could say she had spent time with him. Maybe these stolen moments would be able to sustain her for another few years as similar instances had done in the past…as depressing as that thought was.

Beside her, Misao's maid shifted uncertainly, obviously wondering if her mistress had lost all sense of decorum. Cozette was acting as her chaperone, which would help diminish some of the impropriety of the situation.

Raising a hand, Misao knocked loudly before stepping back expectantly. The butler who opened the door was stout and stern, his eyes keen as they studied her.

"I am here to call upon Lord Shinomori," she stated.

"And what, may I inquire, is the meaning of your visit?" he asked in a slightly condescending tone.

"Tell him that Lady Misao is here for a social call."

The man bowed and opened the door wider. Misao and her maid stepped inside and were shown to a small receiving parlor. Instead of sitting, Misao moved to one of the large windows to peer outside at the dewy morning. Cozette moved over to a solitary chair near a bookcase and sat, letting the basket she held in her hands rest in her lap. It was a few minutes later when the butler returned and announced the viscount.

Misao turned from the window, clasping her hands in front of her. As her eyes settled on him, she felt a small smile of curiosity curl her lips.

She had interrupted something. She could tell by the calculating gleam in his eyes. His clothing was unusually rumpled, and it looked as if he had run his hands through his hair multiple times. His gaze didn't quite catch hers, and Misao came to the assumption that he was still caught up in whatever he had been so intently slaving over. He had probably only received her visit because her appearance so abrupt and unexpected. He didn't appear as if was worried about her welfare, so he hadn't rushed over because he thought she was in some kind self-imposed danger. No…he had probably come to the conclusion her visit was just another curious exploit of hers.

He knew her better than he let on, she mused.

"Lord Shinomori," she greeted cheerfully.

"Lady Misao. To what do I owe this surprise visit?" he inquired softly, while glancing over to his butler. The short man nodded and hurried from the room.

"Oh, this is just a simple social hello."

"Simple?" he asked.

Misao sighed. "I know I'm being intrusive. You must be thinking nothing is simple with me around."

He quirked a brow.

She bit her lip to keep from smiling. "I couldn't help myself, though."

"And why is that?"

"I decided that I simply must show you Minx."

For the first time in a long while, his face went completely blank and he stared at her with a growing sense of dread. She hadn't…had she?

Misao motioned for Cozette with her hand, and the maid got up from her seat and walked slowly over to her mistress. She lifted the lid of the basket and pulled out a fluffy orange kitten with large green eyes and long, long whiskers. The kitten let out a plaintive meow and stuck her claws into the front of Misao's bodice.

"You named it Minx?"

"I named _her_ Minx," she corrected. Misao detached the kitten from her dress, and held her out towards Aoshi. "Would you like to hold her?"

"No, thank you. I'm quite alright."

"She's a darling. Don't be afraid."

Misao watched as his expression changed from one of mild discomfort to one of exasperation. The chiseled seriousness that usually characterized his features fell away to a poorly hidden uncertainty. Who would have thought a mere kitten would have such an effect on him? Smiling, Misao stepped forward and thrust the animal into his arms unexpectedly.

Claws dug into his jacket and held as the kitten let out an annoyed yowl. His hands came up quickly to support the small animal.

"You came here to show me a cat?" he asked.

"I thought that this would be the best way to introduce you."

He quirked a brow. "The _best_ way? I shouldn't have even received you, Misao."

It was ridiculous how much pleasure she got from hearing him say her name without the customary title attached.

"But, you did," she couldn't help but say.

"It's probably best that you go. Even with a chaperone, there will be consequences if people see your carriage outside my residence."

Misao stepped forward and took the kitten from him. Tucking it's tiny body underneath her chin, she smiled at him. "You speak logically."

"You should act logically," he replied with a frown.

Misao turned and handed the kitten back to Cozette. "When matters of the heart are involved, often the mind is left out of the equation," she replied softly, her back to him. She wondered if he had heard her.

When she turned around, his expression was unchanged. She didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. However, it wasn't as if she didn't wear her emotions on her sleeve. If Aoshi hadn't been aware of her intentions before, he had to be aware of them now.

"I apologize for disturbing you this morning," she said as she pulled on her gloves.

"Misao, you should know that I can't receive you again. Unless it's an emergency, that is." He stared down at her for a moment before looking away. "I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I'll be leaving again within the next few days."

It was probably the worst news that he could have told her. Misao looked down, afraid he'd see every emotion - sadness, anguish, anger - reflected in her eyes. She had expected him to stay at least a few weeks, not merely a few days. She should be glad that he had come at all, though. She hadn't expected him back in town until late in the spring, anyways. These moments that she had had with him would have to serve her well.

When she raised her head to say goodbye, she had schooled her features. "It was very nice seeing you again, then. I wish you the best in your travels."

"Farewell, Misao."

* * *

Two days later in the rose parlor of her London townhouse, Misao frowned at her best friend. "I'm just informing you, Kaoru, that you should have picked a better subject to paint for your next masterpiece," she muttered, shooting her friend a wry glare. "Holding the kitten still is like asking me to sew embroidery! Impossible! Her claws are sharp."

"Please stop whining, Misao. I am almost done."

"Hallelujah," she murmured softly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing, my dear."

Kaoru sent her a disbelieving look, and Misao couldn't help but grin in return.

"I still think you've taken a leave of your senses," Kaoru murmured, her eyes catching her friend's as she glanced over the top of her canvas. "Tuesday's antics were a little extreme even for you."

Misao quirked an eyebrow. "I thought we decided not to discuss this any further."

Kaoru sighed. "I know, I know. I can't help it."

"I have heard enough from my mother."

"I can imagine," Kaoru replied with a chuckle. "Tilt you head to the left a little."

Misao tilted her head to the right just to hear Kaoru sigh in exasperation, and then she tilted her head as her friend wanted.

"So he's gone now, I presume," she asked with her eyes glued to her painting.

"Yes. I received word this morning that he departed."

"He told you himself?"

"No. I made friends with a maid in his household - don't ask how!" she said pointedly when Kaoru raised her head to spear her friend with a look of disbelief. "She sent me a note this morning. Didn't know where he was headed off to, though. Pity."

A servant walked into the room with a heavy tray filled with biscuits and tea. She set it down carefully on a table off the side, curtseyed and then departed. Misao abandoned her seat the instant the girl left the room, setting the kitten free on the rug and attacked the tray with vigor.

"I'm _starving_," she said as she grabbed a small porcelain plate and filled it with two biscuits before pouring herself a steaming cup of tea.

From her behind her painting, Kaoru noted dryly, "I noticed."

She turned to her friend. "Care for some?"

"Why, yes. I'm actually quite famished, as well."

Misao gathered a couple biscuits, poured some tea for Kaoru, and brought them over to her. She then settled back onto the sofa with her own afternoon treats.

"I can't believe it's almost Christmas," Kaoru said with a sigh. "Time is passing by so quickly."

"You'll be staying with us for the holidays, of course," Misao said in a tone that allowed no argument.

Kaoru smiled over her tea cup. "I wouldn't dream of spending it with anyone else. I'm not quite sure where I'd be now without your family."

Misao smiled back at her. "I just wish my father would allow us to retreat to the country for the month. I'm so weary of the city."

Kaoru shot her a suspicious look before setting down her now empty tea cup and reaching once again for her paint brush.

Misao had been about to suggest Kaoru finish up painting for the day so that they might go shopping, when her mother walked into the room; she knew her friend needed a new pair of gloves since she had quite ruined her last pair with paint, and she so wished to spend some time out of the house. Apparently her mother had other plans for her.

There was a look mingled of surprise and pleasure on her mother's face, which was nice considering the glares Misao had been receiving the past couple days.

"I have excellent news. Brilliant news, in fact!" she exclaimed.

"We're having chocolate torte for desert tonight?" Misao asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, Misao."

Her lips twitched in response. "Sorry, Mother."

"We have been invited to a country house party in Kent for the Christmas holiday!"

Kaoru's eyebrows rose in surprise as she looked over to Misao. "Oh, goodness! It's just as you hoped. Time in the country."

Misao's mother unfolded the letter of invitation she held in her lap and handed it to her daughter. Misao felt her stomach drop out from under her, and all amusement she had felt previously was abandoned.

"It seems the Viscount is having a house party with a few select families. I'm shocked he thought to include us due to your abominable behavior of late."

Misao couldn't hear her mother's words over the load roar in her ears. Never had such an opportunity presented itself to her before. It was marvelous. It was wonderful. It was _perfect_. She'd have to make it count, for this may be her final chance to snare Aoshi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

* * *

**A Persistent Hope**

* * *

Chapter 2 – _Sleigh Ride_

* * *

They had arrived at Aoshi's country estate only two hours ago, but Misao was already anxious to see him. He had been out riding with other guests who had come the day before, so he hadn't been available to welcome her family.

Misao and Kaoru had been given a room to share, and as Kaoru rested on her bed, exhausted from the journey, Misao paced in front of the window. There wasn't much time, but there was so much to do. Misao felt a pressing urgency in her chest that she couldn't get rid of. It was almost as if her heart was telling her it was now or never. If she could get nothing to come from this gathering, she was afraid that this tenuous relationship she was trying to form would crumple and nothing would remain.

It was imperative that she get this _right_.

Her skirts twisted about her ankles as she turned once reaching the end of the long window. She walked along it, the sunlight glinting on her figure, and once reaching the other end, she turned back around.

She had heard the housekeeper mention something about an outing planned for the following day that involved a sleigh ride to search for a Yule log. A large pile of mistletoe had been stacked on a table in the entrance hall, waiting for a servant to place it strategically in some of the many doorways of the manor. It wasn't a tradition she would have expected the stern Aoshi to adhere to, and she was surprised he allowed such a custom in his home. A small smile warmed her mouth as she thought out the possibilities that would enable her to capture him underneath one of the festive bunches.

But, maybe he expected such a thing of her. It might be a better idea to do something he didn't expect of her at all, and leave the mistletoe to one of the less imaginative couples. Misao chewed her bottom lip in thought.

A flash of movement from outside caught her attention, and she turned her gaze out the window in time to see Aoshi and several other gentlemen emerge from the forest on horseback and head toward the stables. Aoshi rode atop a large bay stallion, his control of the animal superb. His black hair was tousled by the brisk wind, and his gloved hands gripped the reins with ease. If such an occupation existed that gave her permission to stare at him all day, she would take it and be more than happy. Her warm breath clouded the windowpane and Misao pressed her forehead against the cool glass.

It was ridiculous how much she longed for his affection.

Disgusted with her mooning over him, Misao turned from the window and walked over to Kaoru's bed where she sat down on the edge next to her friend's slumbering figure.

Misao nudged her gently on the shoulder. "Wake up, sleepyhead. It'll be time to get ready for supper soon."

Kaoru moaned softly against the feather pillow and turned away from Misao. "I wish I could stay in bed forever. I'd forgotten what a horrible carriage ride it is to this part of the country."

Misao smiled at her fondly, "Such a city girl. You've had plenty of time to recover from the journey."

She huffed into the pillow and then raised her gaze to Misao's. "Speak to me tomorrow and I think I'll be recovered."

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Enter," Misao called.

Cozette opened the door and stepped swiftly into the room. "It's time for the two of you to prepare for supper. Baths have been prepared for you both in the adjoining room and I've already taken the liberty of pressing and setting out your dinner gowns."

"Thank you, Cozette. We'll be along shortly."

Cozette nodded and left.

Misao stood and took a hold of Kaoru's hand. Tugging, she pulled Kaoru up as her friend muttered darkly under breath about sleep, sore muscles, and beef.

Misao quirked a brow. "Beef?"

"I may be tired, but I _am_ famished as well. I can assure you that if food had not been promised as a reward for all this infernal primping, I would stay abed for the rest of the evening. If there is no beef tonight at supper, I feel that I may revolt."

Misao grinned. "Oh, I do hope they serve duck just so I can witness this revolt of yours."

Kaoru sent her a muted smile. "We shall see."

* * *

Beef was in fact served at supper in the third course, much to Kaoru's delight and Misao's disappointment. As Kaoru dug in with unladylike zeal, Misao pushed her food about on her plate before the footman came to take it away and replace it with the next course. While she did manage to eat a little, she might as well have been eating dirt for all she tasted. Her attention remained solely on the man at the head of the table. Unfortunately, she was seated halfway down the long table, sandwiched between two men whose conversation could have put a goat to sleep. She could hear nothing of what Aoshi said.

Mouth in a downcast slant, Misao speared the vegetable on her plate forcefully as the pretty young daughter of an earl, a Lady Petunia, laughed loudly at something Aoshi had said and placed her hand on his forearm. Aoshi didn't seem to be affected by Lady Petunia's affections, but Misao couldn't help the ugly jealousy that rose in her chest. She gripped her wine glass tightly in her hand, and took a tentative sip, almost choking when Lady Petunia leaned too close for propriety's sake to whisper some indelicacy in Aoshi's ear.

From across the table, Kaoru kicked Misao shin and sent her a speaking glance. Misao lowered her head, noticing how tightly she clutched the delicate wine glass. She quickly released her grip and set the glass down before she could break it. An embarrassed blush crept up her neck as she avoided Kaoru's curious gaze.

It was a relief when supper ended and the men adjourned to the library. Misao felt the need to regroup and was more than happy to accompany Kaoru back to their room for an early retirement. She had much to think over and plan if this party was going to be a success for her future.

* * *

Misao was usually a late riser in the morning but anticipation had her anxious and she woke early. Kaoru was always awake several hours before her, but as Misao quietly slipped from their room, Kaoru was still fast asleep, presumably still recovering from the previous day. The heavenly scent of coffee drew her into the breakfast room. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the wonderful aroma and smiled contentedly as she poured herself a healthy amount.

"Coffee always seems to taste better in the country," a deep voice remarked from behind her.

Misao jerked with surprise and a splash of the hot liquid burned her fingers. With a soft exclamation, she quickly set down her coffee cup and reached for a nearby napkin. Raising her gaze to Aoshi's, she noticed he didn't seem at all contrite that he had startled her.

The man was too quiet by far.

"You should make a noise when you walk up to someone," she chastised.

"My apologies."

"Yes, you do seem dearly sorry," she replied dryly, quirking a brow and she reached over to reclaim her coffee.

He shifted his gaze from her to the steaming eggs in the silver serving platter on the sideboard, but not before she caught a glimpse of smugness. That hint of emotion warmed her more than the scalding coffee as it chased its way down her throat when she took a sip.

Misao stepped over to the dining table to set her coffee down, and then returned to the small buffet of breakfast food. She grabbed a plate and began to fill it with the warm food. Aoshi had already done so and was pulling a chair back from the table across from where she had placed her coffee. With a content smile, Misao settled down with her food and began to eat.

"I trust you are looking forward to the day's festivities," he asked, his blue gaze turning to her.

With a quick smile, she replied, "I've always loved the snow, therefore, a sleigh ride is something I _definitely_ look forward to. In fact, I firmly believe that a Christmas without one is a very solemn one, indeed."

"I personally see no difference between taking a carriage into town and taking a sleigh ride. You have a horse or two, a carriage, and it's bloody cold outside." He frowned slightly. "Excuse my language."

Misao waved her hand in pardon, "No need to apologize. I guess you've never been on a _real_ sleigh ride, otherwise, you wouldn't be so cynical about the whole thing. It's not the fact that you're trudging around in an open conveyance in the middle of winter - it the whole experience." She smiled brightly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Perhaps I can help you to realize what you've been missing."

He grunted in response and turned his gaze back to plate. "I doubt that."

"That sounded an awful lot like a dare to me."

He glanced at her warily. "It wasn't."

"Hmm," she replied as she sipped her coffee. "We shall see."

A motion at the doorway caught her attention and she watched as Kaoru entered the room, clad in an emerald green morning gown, her dark hair pulled back in a fashionable chignon.

"You look well-rested," Misao remarked.

Kaoru sent her a small smile as she picked up a plate from the sideboard. "I feel it." She glanced over to Aoshi. "Good morning, my lord."

"Good morning, Miss Kamiya."

Once her plate was full, she settled down at the table text to Misao. Glancing at Aoshi, she said, "You have a very comfortable country home."

"Thank you. I keep it staffed year round. I prefer to spend my time out here in the country instead of the city, if I can. Much quieter."

"Yes, I have a particular fondness of the country as well. I don't favor the long journey, but once here, it's quite charming."

"I was just telling Aoshi the joys of a sleigh ride," Misao told Kaoru.

Kaoru's eyes lit with excitement, "Oh, I've never been on one in the country. Through the park, of course, but never out here away from the buildings and congestion. To be surrounded by trees and white snow and wildlife! Oh, I think I might need to paint it just so I can capture the essence of my time here."

Misao turned to Aoshi. "The three of us should ride together and see the sights. Kaoru with her artist's eye, you with your skepticism, and me with my enthusiasm. It shall be great fun."

Kaoru sent her friend a knowing smile. She sighed as she took a bite of her toast.

"It would be my honor, Lady Misao and Miss Kamiya." Aoshi set his napkin aside and pushed his chair away from the table. "If you would excuse me, I have much to do before the day's activities begin."

"I'm sure we shall have splendid time" Misao remarked.

He gave a slight bow and walked from the room.

Kaoru leaned her elbow against the table and quirked a brow. "What are you up to now?"

"I don't believe I have any idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not," she murmured.

* * *

Two hours later, Misao stood outside in front of the Manor's main staircase clad in her fur-lined bonnet and muff along with her heavy velvet cloak which shielded her from the biting wind. Next to her, Kaoru shuddered against the cold. Ten sleighs had been readied with two-horse teams, heavy wool blankets and warming coals to keep feet toasty. A footman stepped over to the two friends and directed them to the sleigh in the front. As they passed, Lady Petunia shot Misao a glare of pure dislike, clearly affronted that Misao had managed to monopolize the viscount.

A few snowflakes drifted down and Misao lifted her head to stare upward at the overcast sky. A smile curved her lips as she felt the cool touch of snow against her cheeks. With a happy sigh, she lowered her face and opened her eyes in time to see Aoshi on his way over towards her.

There was something about the way he carried himself that made her stomach do an odd, nervous flip - his broad shoulders were held straight, and his mouth was a flat line, conveying neither anger nor happiness. However, as he neared, she noticed a tightness to him, as if great anticipation gripped him, yet he sought to dampen it and keep it under control and hidden. Even his eyes seemed to be a brighter blue.

"Ladies, if I may," he said as he came to a stop next to them, holding out his hand to help them into the sleigh.

Kaoru smiled politely, stepped up into the sleigh, and slid across the long leather seat.

When he held out his hand to Misao, she placed her palm in his and held her breath as her heard pounded in her chest. It was ridiculous what such little contact with him did to her. With an unsteady breath, she sat down next to Kaoru and waited for Aoshi to join them.

The seat was long, but not spacious enough for contact between the passengers to be avoided. His thigh brushed hers, and his upper arm rested against her. He reached down near their feet and pulled up the large wool blanket, covering their laps. She slipped both her hands into the fur-lined muff to ward off the chill and relaxed against the back cushion.

As the sleigh pulled forward, the bells on the horses' harnesses rang in the air, causing Misao to sigh with contentment.

"I assumed you would appreciate the bells."  
She turned her gaze to him in surprise.

"You did that for me?"

"I didn't wish to hear complaints on how this wasn't a _real_ sleigh ride."

Misao laughed. "Without bells it isn't."

"They do sound quite lovely," Kaoru remarked.

Misao turned to watch the horses as they trotted through the snow, each movement accentuated by the festive sound of the bells chiming. Snow covered trees lined the path and a light breeze played against her face. The presence of the company on either side of her – her best friend and the man that she had loved forever – warmed her heart.

Kaoru seemed to be as taken with the ride as much as Misao, her attention diverted to every little detail in the landscape, her eyes memorizing each rise and fall of the snow on the land. She appeared to be composing a painting in her mind, her eyes sparkling with uncontained imagination.

Aoshi, however, kept his gaze forward on the road. He remained in that pose until the sleigh slowed to a stop near a particular dense area of forest. A narrow footpath wound its way through the trees.

"Is this where we shall hunt for the Yule log?" Misao inquired.

"Quite right. This is the best area to find one."

Aoshi stepped down from the sleigh and helped Misao and Kaoru.

"We'll find one this afternoon, and in two days on Christmas Eve, I'll place it in the hearth."

Kaoru shook her head. "I've never understood the purpose of burning a giant log in the fire."

"It's for luck, prosperity and protection," Misao argued with a grin. "Tradition if nothing else!"

"Tradition is a very important aspect," Aoshi murmured.

"Yes, yes. My apologies for questioning the unquestionable," she retorted playfully. "If you shall excuse me, I will look over in that wonderful patch of forest for one."

Misao watched her friend walk carefully through the snow, taking the narrow path and disappearing behind the large trees.

High pitched laughter drew her attention away and she noticed Lady Petunia several sleighs away, her head thrown back as she laughed overly loud with the stout man next to her. Misao couldn't help but notice the predatory way in which her eyes drifted and held onto Aoshi's form. It wasn't right. It was sickening. It was –

Oh, shoot, she was heading towards them.

Misao quickly turned to Aoshi whose attention was focused on the forest in front of them. "I'm going in!" she exclaimed, before stomping off into the trees. Aoshi frowned at her, but followed nonetheless. She quickly hurried around the bend of the path, hoping Aoshi would keep pace with her and Lady Irritating would give up. She continued in a brisk walk for a minute or so, and then slowed down, convinced she had lost the woman.

"Is there a particular reason you seem to be in such rush? I thought this was an occasion you wished to savor."

"Oh, it is. I just felt the need to, uh, well…I was feeling a bit cramped and needed to walk it off," she replied with a flourish of the hand. "So sorry for inconveniencing you."

"Not at all," he responded softly.

Misao looked around her, and with a frown said, "I don't see anything worthy of a Yule log. Shall we continue?"

Aoshi studied their surroundings and nodded in assent. "Yes, I agree." He motioned with his hand for her to carry on.

"No, no. These are your woods. I insist on following. You know the area much better than I do," she responded with a half-smile.

His eyes narrowed the slightest amount, but ever the gentleman, he didn't question her request and continued along the path in front of her. He was going rather slow, and she wasn't sure if that was because he thought she might be tired from her mad dash into the forest, or if he knew better than to give her an excuse to lag behind and create mischief.

Whoever said that she needed an excuse, though?

When he seemed distracted enough, Misao quickly knelt down beside a tree and scooped up the largest amount of snow that she could manage. Straightening quickly as to avoid early detection, she hurried along after him. Her hands molded the cold, wet mound into a neat ball. Catching her lower lip in-between her teeth, she studied her handiwork and felt excited anticipation fill her.

She transferred the ball into one hand, sucked in a breath and lobbed it at him as hard as she could. It landed with a wet smack on the skin of his neck right above his collar. Two huge lumps slid down his neck and under his shirt.

Slapping a hand to her mouth to stifle her sudden laughter, Misao darted behind the broad trunk of a tree. Her shoulders shook with amusement. While she hadn't been able to see the reaction on his face, she had been able to tell he was startled by the way every muscle had frozen.

It was close to a minute later when her laughter began to subside. Everything remained quiet. Too quiet. The longer she stood hidden behind the tree, the more her curiosity rose. She would have expected him to retaliate by now, but the silence was making her nervous. Maybe she had miscalculated, and instead of responding to her challenge, he had left her in the forest to find her own way back to sleighs.

Heart pounding in her chest, Misao gripped the edge of the tree and slowly peeked around the tree.

And a snowball the size of a man's fist hurtled right into the middle of her face. She yelped in surprise, and quickly wiped the moisture from her eyes and nose, blinking rapidly. By the time she was able to focus on anything, the first thing she saw was _him_, a mere hand's breadth from her. With startled gasp, Misao took a step back and bumped into the tree behind her.

She couldn't tell whether he was angry or amused – his face remained impassive. He leaned down, closer and closer until his face an inch from hers. His eyes had darkened from the typical ice blue into a swirling cerulean. He reached up a hand and softly swept the pad of his thumb across her cheek, removing a stray bit of ice that clung to her skin.

"You have horrible aim," he said, his rich baritone sending an involuntary shiver down her spine.

Lips parting in protest, she forgot his proximity and said defensively, "I hit you precisely where I wanted!"

The corner of his mouth tilted up the barest amount, but even that slight movement seemed to transform his features. His taciturn façade had been swept away. His brow softened, amusement clouded his eyes, and there was something hypnotizing about his lips. She couldn't drag her eyes from them.

A flush began at her neck and slowly climbed its way up to her cheeks, staining them a cherry red. She stopped breathing as his head began descending even lower towards hers. His thumb brushed the underside of her lower lip, and Misao began to see black spots dancing in front of her eyes.

His gaze lowered from her eyes to her lips. "Breathe."

Even at his insistence, she couldn't. She couldn't ruin the moment.

She could stay here all day. Staring at him. Feeling his warm breath on her cheek, his hand cradling her face. It was heaven. It was everything she had wanted since the day she had met him. She felt the urge to close her eyes and just _feel_, but she couldn't bring herself to stop looking at him. Her whole body tingled with awareness.

A loud crack to their left caused Aoshi to snap upright and drop his hand from her face. Misao watched with growing outrage as Lady Petunia stumbled onto the path roughly fifteen feet from them, her hair slightly disheveled as if she had been fumbling through the woods searching for them.

Misao sucked in an unsteady breath as Aoshi stepped away from her and walked over to Lady Petunia as she brushed snow from her cloak and dress. It was even more surprising when Kaoru stumbled onto the path directly behind _her_. Kaoru looked annoyed, however, and her gaze immediately went to Misao's.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed.

Misao gave a curse nod, knowing her friend had tried to help. Her ire increased tenfold when _that woman_ put her hands on Aoshi's chest and started breathing heavily as if she was about to pass out.

"Pardon us," Aoshi murmured as he led the ridiculous woman down the path back toward the sleighs.

Kaoru walked slowly up to her friend and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I have never disliked anyone as much as I dislike her," Misao bit out, her brows drawn together in annoyance.

"Yes, I know, dear." She slipped her arm through Misao's and tugged her gently. "Let's head back. They found a Yule log not far from here and the sleighs will be leaving imminently."

With a sigh, Misao stepped away from the tree and walked with her friend back along the path.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Here's the last chapter. Hope everyone enjoys!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Persistent Hope**

* * *

_Chapter 3_

It had been a long night. She hadn't felt very festive since returning from the sleigh ride that had started out so well, but had ended so abruptly. Any hint of the Aoshi she had seen in the forest was gone. His stoic mask was firmly in place once again. She had deliberately delayed retiring for the night after dinner, hoping that Aoshi would leave the men's gathering in the library early and come to speak with her. When it was apparent he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, Misao departed to the room she shared with Kaoru and tried to get some sleep.

It was impossible to sleep, however. Every time she closed her eyes, Aoshi was staring back at her, his eyes full of emotion, his hands cradling her face. Misao sucked in an unsteady breath and studied the ceiling.

Was it too much to hope that he returned her feelings even a little bit? Her stomach clenched at the thought. It would be crushing to get her hopes up now, only to be let down gently and told 'You're a very nice young woman, however…' She wouldn't be able to bear that. It felt like everything that she had been hoping for almost all of her life depended on these next few days. She had always been anxious for such a time to come, but now that it had, she almost felt like dragging her feet.

With a frustrated sigh, Misao sat up and pushed the blankets aside. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, shoved her feet into her slippers and hastily grabbed her wrapper. She was careful to be quiet to avoid waking Kaoru. Carefully, she opened the door and slipped out. Warm milk had always helped her to settle her nerves and sleep. Though she was unfamiliar with the complete layout of the manor, she was fairly certain that she remembered where the kitchen was located. She only hoped that the cook wouldn't be too irate by one of the house guests helping themselves to the supplies and stove.

Five minutes and two wrong turns later, Misao rounded a corner and finally found the kitchen. She had taken several steps inside before realizing that she wasn't alone. A single candle flickered on a worktable in the center of the room, softly illuminating the lone man.

It seemed like a private moment that shouldn't have been interrupted. Aoshi's sleeves were rolled up to reveal corded forearms, and the neck of his shirt was unbuttoned displaying the skin of throat. His left elbow rested on the top of the table while he held a fork in his right hand. A piece of half-eaten chocolate cake sat before him.

Normally, she would have walked right up to the table and requested a bite, but Aoshi had left her out-of-sorts this afternoon, and she remained frozen in the entranceway of the kitchen.

"Looking for something?" he asked, breaking the silence. The dim light hid his features.

"Milk," she responded quickly. "I came for milk."

He motioned to the small pitcher of milk resting on the table. "Help yourself."

She spied a collection of clean glasses to the right, reached over and grabbed one. Slowly, she walked over to the table, sat down in the only other chair – one only a few feet from where he sat – and then reached for the pitcher.

After pouring a glass, she gulped down a mouthful and almost choked when she noticed his eyes hadn't left her face.

"I couldn't sleep," she blurted out, her cheeks warming.

"Neither could I," he responded, surprising her. "Usually I end up working the night away, but I couldn't help myself. The cake called to me."

Misao lifted a skeptical brow. "It called to you?"

He was utterly serious when he replied, "Yes. It's my favorite and very hard to resist. This seemed like the best way to pass time."

Misao was silent for a moment. "Warm milk helps me sleep."

"Having problems, I presume?"

"Well, it's not everyday that I'm accosted in the middle of the woods," she retorted before thinking.

"Accosted? If I remember correctly, you were the first to attack. I merely retaliated."

She snorted. "That's all it was? Retaliation for being hit by a small snowball?"

"That snowball was not small."

Misao pursed her lips. The comment demanded defense of some sort, but something in his expression made the words die in her mouth.

He set down his fork and she watched as he shoved his chair back slowly and stood. Wordlessly, he grabbed the back of her chair and pulled it back slightly. Cupping her elbow with one hand, he exerted enough pressure to get her to stand. Once she was on her feet, his hands slid from her elbows and up her arms, across her collarbone, fingers caressing the sensitive skin of her neck before stopping at her cheeks. His eyes burned into hers, and there was desperation in them tonight, something she had never seen in them before.

"Pardon me," he murmured, and lowered his lips to hers.

It was soft and delicate and wonderful. His lips molded seamlessly to hers, shifting, brushing, teasing her. She sighed against his mouth, welcoming the gentle press of his lips against her own. Her parted lips were invitation enough and when his tongue slipped inside, Misao's eyes flew open in surprise. He tasted of rich chocolate and brandy, and as his tongue traced the inside of her lips, she relaxed, her fingers curling in his short black hair, her body pressing against his. His lips gradually became more demanding, coaxing her, encouraging her to follow his lead. She had never experienced something so delicious and sensual. She wanted to drown in his kisses and never leave the comforting circle of arms. Coherent thought slipped from her mind and all that was left was Aoshi, his lips, his hands, his hard body against hers. A fire lit in her and she slid her arms around his neck, bringing him closer, deepening the kiss and the onslaught on her nerves.

With a muffled curse, Aoshi's hands slid to her shoulder and gently, yet firmly pushed her away. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were a stormy, dark blue. Misao stepped towards him to close the sudden distance between them, but his face suddenly became shuttered of emotion. In a hoarse voice, he said, "I apologize for my behavior. Please excuse me."

She watched as he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving her alone and trembling in the candlelit room. She could still feel the imprint of his hands on her skin, the brush of his lips against hers. Misao shuddered and hugged her arms about herself.

* * *

It had been two days since Aoshi had kissed her in the kitchen. He had been skillfully avoiding her since then. He managed to time his breakfast perfectly so that he was already finished by the time she arrived. He always seemed to be occupied with one guest or the other, out riding, working in his study – staying as busy as possible. He acted as if he couldn't be still for one moment, fearful that she would pounce on him.

Which was probably true. At first, she'd been filled with eagerness to see him and to be with him once more. However, that eagerness had morphed into annoyance and then finally into anger. When she had glared at him over dinner the previous night, he had stared at her a split second longer than normal before turning to speak to the man seated next to him. At least she had gotten some sort of reaction from him, no matter how small it had been.

Kaoru told her to be patient – things would eventually fall into place. Misao felt, however, that she had waited long enough. If their relationship continued on its current path, she'd end up dying an old spinster _still_ pining for Aoshi. She had tried a few tricks in an attempt to catch him alone, but all had failed to her utter disgust and dismay. If an award existed for 'The Most Annoying Man to Walk the Earth', Aoshi would have won it, hands down.

It was hard to remain in a truly bad mood, though, with all the beautiful Christmas decorations. They set a stunning festive scene that seemed to calm her nerves a little when they threatened to careen out of control. Kaoru helped, too, with her own comforting presence.

Christmas Eve had arrived, and several servants were carrying the heavy Yule. Misao watched as they placed it in the hearth with several remnant splinters of the last year's log and then set it aflame. Beside her, Kaoru clapped and smiled as she watched. It was good to see her so happy, enjoying the festivities.

A dance had been planned for later in the day, and Misao wasn't looking forward to it in the least. Dancing held no appeal and neither did the prospect of watching other woman fawn all over Aoshi. She was tired of him avoiding her, and she had half a mind to confront him, but knew that making such a scene would not only look terrible but ruin her reputation.

Lady Petunia and several of her friends stepped forward and suggested come caroling. There was an overwhelming agreement between the guests and they all crowded around the piano. A well-known holiday tune filled the air and was soon accompanied by plethora of voices that ranged from heavenly to horrid. Kaoru stood off to the side, a small smile on her lips as she watched the guests sing merrily. Misao felt her stomach twist painfully when she saw Aoshi's dark head lean close to Lady Petunia's. He wasn't singing, but he seemed caught in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Misao hurried to the terrace doors and slipped out. It was too cold to stay outside long without some sort of cloak, but she welcomed the biting cold. It wasn't quite dark outside, and while the garden below offered no pretty flowers for contemplation, there were several nice stone benches interspersed among the naked bushes. Misao went down the steps to the barren garden and meandered down the path. Stopping near a particularly interesting looking tree, she reached out to tug a branch and the thick bark bit into her fingers. She shivered involuntarily as a particularly strong gust of wind blew straight through the thin fabric of her dress.

Misao gasped when a man's dinner jacket enveloped her small frame, providing warmth and shielding her from the wind. She turned quickly from the tree, her gaze darting to her sudden companion. Aoshi slid his hands into the pockets of his trousers and stared not at her but out across the garden with something akin to wistfulness in his gaze.

She didn't know what to say, which was irritating because she _always_ had something to say. The second she had seen him standing there, her tongue had become thick and her lips had sealed shut – a terrible combination. She was warm, too. Warmer than she should have been even though she now had his jacket. The warmth seemed to start at the tip of her toes, climbed swiftly up her legs, and pooled comfortably in her chest.

He sighed and turned his piercing gaze to hers.

"I think our children will like it here," he remarked matter-of-factly.

For the first time in her life, Misao's mind went blank. Her eyes widened and her lips parted as she stood in an unbelieving stupor. She could only manage an incoherent garble in the back of her throat that made her sound ill.

He said something too soft for her to hear and then started to walk down the garden path that led back to manor.

Misao blinked and shook her head before rushing after him, clutching his jacket more closely around her body. "You can't just say something like that and walk away!" She darted in front him, her breath coming in short bursts as she pressed her palm flat against his chest. "I demand an explanation!"

There was the barest curve to his lips. "Our children will enjoy this place."

"And where are these children coming from? I certainly don't remember giving birth!"

"We'll have them after we're married, of course."

Misao jerked, and finally allowed herself the slimmest bit of hope to bloom in her chest. "Is that some sort of odd proposal?"

"And if it is?"

Her mouth gaped and she stared at him for a moment before saying, "I can't accept such a proposal. Do it right or not at all!"

He stared blankly at her.

"You haven't even told me that you love me!"

"Do you love me?"

"Don't turn this on me. I asked first."

He gave her a maddeningly calm smile before starting forward again and climbing the steps back up to the terrace.

"Aoshi!"

She followed close behind at his heels.

"Aoshi don't you dare walk back in there so you can ignore me again! I've had enough of that."

Instead of going to the glass doors that led back into the ballroom where the festivities continued, he continued along the edge of the terrace and stopped at a set of doors she had never entered before. He pulled out a small ring of keys from his pocket and swiftly unlocked the room and ushered her inside.

It was his study. Her eyes scanned the ceiling-tall bookshelves holding books on hundreds of different subjects. His desk sat on the far side of the room away from the window as if he feared outside distractions. There was a large mahogany table in the middle of the room with a huge world map that covered the entire surface. Several small, wooden ships were placed in different parts of the Atlantic Ocean. Misao assumed he was keeping track of the merchant vessels he had sailing the seas.

She walked over to the table with the map and trailed her fingers along the smooth wood.

"I haven't seen avoiding you," he said softly.

Misao snorted. "I beg to differ."

"I've been trying to straighten out my thoughts."

"About what?"

"About you, of course. You're haunting me. You've been haunting me for years. I can't seem to get any work done these days. I close my eyes and I see your face, your eyes, your smile staring back at me, and…and…"

"And?"

After several moments of silence, she looked to see his brow furrowed and his eyes troubled. "This isn't easy for me to say."

Misao swallowed and took a step towards him. His head jerked up and he lifted his hand to keep her in place. He ran a hand distractedly through his hair and leaned back against the desk behind him.

"I've loved you for so long. But, it was never the right time to tell you. Problems kept cropping up, and I was forced to turn away from what I wanted, so that I could do what was necessary."

Misao's eyes widened with every word he spoke. He watched as she blinked rapidly, attempting to assimilate what he had told her. Misao swallowed. "You're speaking of your father's death?"

"Yes. I meant to offer for you a couple years ago, but my situation altered and I was needed elsewhere. I could only hope that you wouldn't transfer your affections to someone else. My whole intention of coming to London recently was to meet with you and judge for myself if you were still – " he stopped and sighed. "…if you still felt for me as you always had."

"And what did you find?"

She could tell that he was uncomfortable. He had never been good at expressing his feelings. In fact, he was dismal at it. But, there was a sincerity in his eyes that humbled and warmed her.

"You hadn't changed at all." His eyes bore into hers. "You _haven't_ changed at all," he clarified. "Still exuberant, reckless, and unpredictable."

He pushed away from the desk and walked to her. His footsteps were muffled by the carpet. When he reached her, his fingers whispered over the skin of her arm, stopping at the sensitive skin on the inside of her elbow. He lowered his head, and she watched as he took her hand in his own and slowly brought it up to his lips where he breathed the lightest of kisses.

"It doesn't seem like anytime will ever be the right time. No matter how much planning is involved, something always occurs to stop me." He pulled her to him, laying her hand on his shoulder and slipping an arm slowly around her waist.

Misao let out a shuddering sigh. "You've had me so confused recently."

"That wasn't my intention."

The corner of her mouth lifted as she stared in the bottomless blue of his eyes, losing herself in the swirling emotion that clouded them. Lifting herself onto the tips of her toes and tightening her arm around his shoulders, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

Aoshi groaned against her mouth, and his hand clenched on her waist. This kiss seemed different, more important somehow that their previous one. It started out feathery light as the merest brush of lips against lips. Gently, Aoshi deepened it, shaping her lips with his, tasting her with his tongue before slipping inside her mouth to explore. Misao's heart beat furiously in her chest as she returned his caresses with her own. She leaned into him, pressing against his chest her fingers digging into the back of his neck.

All of her senses were heightened. She was overwhelmed by the beat of his heart against her own, the smoothness of his skin against her fingertips, and the way he made her feel intoxicated with his mouth. Her arms seemed to lose their strength, and his grip around her wiast strengthened in response.

She felt herself falling. She wanted this to last forever. And so when he pulled slowly away from her, a low murmur of protest left her lips. She could feel the curve of his mouth as a slow smile spread over his lips. His forehead came to rest against hers and with an unsteady breath he said, "Marry me."

Misao's eyes flew open. His eyes were still closed and there was a look of peace on his face that she had never seen before. She drank in his features like a dying woman, memorizing the slant of his nose, the line of his lips, the way his jaw curved. He was everything she had ever and would ever want. Overwhelmed with relief, pleasure and excitement, she grinned and laughed and pressed her face against his neck while saying, "Yes, yes, yes! You'll never get rid of me now!"

She felt his chest rumble as he chuckled, the sound almost foreign to her ears. She leaned back, her smile broad.

"Your life will never be peaceful."

"I'm resigned to that."

"As long you're aware," she replied with a laugh.

"My eyes are wide open. I know everything there is to know about you." He brushed a loose lock of hair from her forehead. "The good. The bad. The unimaginable. I know it all."

"I love you."

He was silent for a moment, his hand cradling her cheek. With the smallest of smiles, he leaned down and kissed her again.

* * *

She was being scandalous again. It seemed, however, that whenever Aoshi was involved, she threw all sense out the window and dashed headlong into trouble. She was grinning as she hurried down the dark hallway, her bare feet silent on the cool marble of the floor. As she reached the end of the hall, her gaze darted either way, checking for any stragglers. When it was apparent no one was approaching, she turned and tiptoed to the door on her right.

Praying that the door was unlocked, she exhaled with relief as the knob turned easily and she slipped through the doorway and into the bedroom.

He didn't seem surprised to see her, his gaze nonchalant as he stared at her from his seat on the cushioned sofa next the warm fireplace. He held a book in his hands and one ankle was crossed casually over the knee of his other leg.

Misao felt a rush of affection as she stared at him. He was hers._ Hers_. There would never be another woman to get in her way. No more Lady Petunias to bother her.

"I couldn't help myself," she said without remorse.

"Hmm."

As she walked slowly over to him, her fingers played with the edge of the sleeve of her dressing gown. She settled down next to him on the sofa, drawing one leg underneath her. She was eager and restless. She had been itching to ask him all day, but with the congratulations of her parents, Kaoru, and the guests at the party about their upcoming nuptials, she hadn't been able to find the right time.

Aoshi watched her closely as he set down his book on the side table.

"When can we get married?" she asked.

"A long engagement is typical for my family."

She frowned, sending him a suspicious look. "How long is 'long'?"

"Half a year is the customary period."

Misao frowned and fidgeted. "Half a year? Are you mad?"

"Patience is an important aspect for many people to have," he reasoned with her, though he hid his smile.

"And you know fully well that I have no such virtue."

He sighed.

"You're actually going to make me wait six months?"

"I cannot change traditions."

"Why, yes, you can!"  
He reached across the small space separating them and slipped his fingers through her loose hair and then down to the base of her neck. "I can't."

"Out of some misguided sense of duty?"

"Out of the need to do everything correctly," he corrected. "Rushing into things has never done anyone any good."

She was silent for a moment before she raised her hands and placed them palm down in his chest. She could feel the gentle thump of his heart against her skin. She was pleased that he was unaffected by her touch.

"Why do you have to be so unreasonably stubborn?"

"Me?" he responded dryly. "That's funny coming from you."

"I am always reasonable."

"Maybe"

"Though I can be a bit stubborn."

"Always."

She sat in stony silence, her lower lip caught between her teeth.

"I'm not going anywhere, you know."

She scoffed. "As if I would let you."

"There is another reason why I think we should delay. At least for a while."

She sent him a bemused glare. "And that would be?"

"I'd like for Kenshin to be able to be there, if he should choose. His ship will be returning in several months, and he is the best friend that I have. Not to mention, I think a certain young woman we know would benefit from his being near. If anyone can get him to eventually settle down, it would be her."

Misao's eyes cleared and her lips curved into a soft smile. "I see."

"I want him to be happy. Kaoru, too. They both seem to be fine, but I know Kenshin. I know that while he thinks he's doing the best thing by staying away, he's only hurting himself and her."

Misao sighed and shifted. "Alright. I agree to your plan."

He pulled her gently to him, drawing her halfway across his lap. His lips touched her temple and moved down the soft skin of her cheek.

"Are you sure you'll be able to hold off?"

Smiling, she pulled him to her. "I think I'll manage to survive. Besides, I have you, and you're all I've ever wanted."


End file.
